Two journal entries two days in a row...it's a bit odd after not having written for a while, but this week has been remarkable.
Last night was another night of restlessness and a certain amount of not being able to get to sleep. It also contained another vivid dream.
In it, i was dressed head to toe in latex (catsuit, hood, and gloves) and collared. My wrists and ankles had cuffs placed on them, and chains between them locked on so that my hands (or feet) could only be about a foot and a half apart from each other at any point. For two hours, i was ordered to worship Mistress Katya's feet and legs, then to massage Her, since She was feeling tired and in need of a deep massage.
Once i had finished that task, a chain was attached between my collar and the headboard on the bed, and i was allowed to sleep on the floor. i am only allowed bread and water. In the morning, Mistress left to attend to things in Her life, and left me there. i was unchained from the bed, but i was not allowed to leave the room. She returned in the evening and proceeded to torment me for an hour or two, followed by another massage. Then i was chained to the bed again. This time i was also blindfolded and gagged for the entire night. Again, in the morning i was unchained from the bed and the blindfold taken off, but the gag remained. i was allowed to relieve myself in the bathroom, and then i was put in serious bondage on the bed - tied very tightly spread-eagled to the bed. After being tormented again, Mistress whispered in my ear that She had some things to attend to, but i was to stay put (as if that were a question, She had left me tied spread-eagled there!), She placed the blindfold back on, and left. After what seemed like an eternity alone and bound, Mistress Katya returned. i heard pictures being taken of me, and then i felt Mistress lay down on the bed next to my bound body. After having Her way with me once again, She untied me. i was ordered to kiss Her feet, then ordered to go home - still dressed head-to-toe in latex.
This dream felt so real, i almost had to check the calendar on my computer to make sure that it hadn't happened.
And i woke up straining against my chastity device worse than ever before.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
It's been a while since i've posted. That doesn't mean that my chastity has ended, or that it's somehow easier - neither of those is true.
This week in particular has become quite a challenge. Since Monday morning, i've been very sensitive and switched on (at least as much as is possible in the device!). It's taken a lot of willpower, and caused some loss of sleep due to restlessness. It's also kept my Mistress in my thoughts pretty constantly.
It's quite difficult to describe the restlessness that comes from chastity. i guess it could be described as "fidgety" - like you want to move (think tapping your foot rapidly or something like that). i know it's not a good description, but it's the best i can think of at the moment.
Anyway, each day this week, i've been "fidgety" at night, and in the mornings i'm straining against the device - quite a way to wake up. i'm thankful that my device is made of silicone and not of hard plastic. With the silicone, it's uncomfortable but not what i would describe as painful - whereas i imagine it could be painful in a hard plastic device.
The restlessness and straining have been increasing day by day. As they do, the desire to be at Mistress' feet serving Her increases too. It's a place that just feels right.
One last note, there have been dreams as well. Most of them i don't remember, but last night i had one in which i was kept in Mistress' service (and bondage) for an entire weekend. My clothes, keys, wallet, and phone were taken away on Friday night, and i was locked into wrist and ankle cuffs, which were attached with chains so that my steps were restricted and i couldn't spread my arms fully. i was kept that way all weekend (in addition to being dressed in latex the whole time), and was only released very late Sunday night. It was quite a feeling to be brought into servitude in the darkness of Friday night and not released until the darkness of Sunday night.
This week in particular has become quite a challenge. Since Monday morning, i've been very sensitive and switched on (at least as much as is possible in the device!). It's taken a lot of willpower, and caused some loss of sleep due to restlessness. It's also kept my Mistress in my thoughts pretty constantly.
It's quite difficult to describe the restlessness that comes from chastity. i guess it could be described as "fidgety" - like you want to move (think tapping your foot rapidly or something like that). i know it's not a good description, but it's the best i can think of at the moment.
Anyway, each day this week, i've been "fidgety" at night, and in the mornings i'm straining against the device - quite a way to wake up. i'm thankful that my device is made of silicone and not of hard plastic. With the silicone, it's uncomfortable but not what i would describe as painful - whereas i imagine it could be painful in a hard plastic device.
The restlessness and straining have been increasing day by day. As they do, the desire to be at Mistress' feet serving Her increases too. It's a place that just feels right.
One last note, there have been dreams as well. Most of them i don't remember, but last night i had one in which i was kept in Mistress' service (and bondage) for an entire weekend. My clothes, keys, wallet, and phone were taken away on Friday night, and i was locked into wrist and ankle cuffs, which were attached with chains so that my steps were restricted and i couldn't spread my arms fully. i was kept that way all weekend (in addition to being dressed in latex the whole time), and was only released very late Sunday night. It was quite a feeling to be brought into servitude in the darkness of Friday night and not released until the darkness of Sunday night.
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