Wow.  Mentally, i'm still recovering from last night, and i suspect physically as well.

The session included piercing and heavier corporal than i had previously taken.

The piercing was intense, but very cool.  i was nervous about it, never having had it done before.  It definitely hurt a bit when the needles went in (and a bit, but less so, when they came out), but Mistress Katya was wonderful, explaining everything She was doing and putting me very much at ease.  i'm actually looking forward to more of it in the future, maybe with heavier gauge needles (note to MK - yes, You're creating a monster in many ways!).

The corporal was VERY intense.  Mistress used Her Hello Kitty cane (which is cute but PAINFUL), one of Her singletails, and a flogger of Hers.  She kept going until finally She broke me down and made me ask for mercy, which She granted.  It's still racing around in my head, but i think the purpose was two-fold: one, to make me acknowledge that although i want to be everything to Her as a slave and take anything She wishes to give, i do have limits to my tolerances, especially when it comes to pain; and two, to deepen the level of trust (which is VERY deep already) by showing that She will grant mercy when i am pushed beyond my tolerance.  Of course, interpreting Mistress' motives is a dangerous game, and i could be wrong in my interpretation.

Mistress Katya had a final surprise up Her sleeve though - i was sent home without being locked back into my chastity device.  Mistress said She wanted me to taste freedom, and also that She was feeling generous due to the season.  i don't know how long the freedom will last.  i DO know that Mistress intends to lock me back in at some point, and i fear that when that day comes, it will be like starting all over again, and i'll be subject to all the torments that i have been to date.

Mistress instructed me to release before going to bed last night, which i did.  She told me (although She didn't need to) that i should be thinking of Her when i did (i would have been thinking of Her even if She hadn't told me that).

It was a very bizarre mix of emotions and sensations.  It was an intense orgasm - as it has been every time since starting chastity.  i also knew that it was due to Mistress, and that the pleasure and all the sensations belonged to Her, and not to me.  That will be my reality for as long as She chooses to keep me as Her slave.  At the same time, there was a part of me that felt wrong doing it and having the freedom to do so without being under Mistress' watchful eye.  Chastity has become such an integral part of my life that to some degree having the freedom just felt wrong, even though i know it's what Mistress wanted.

So far, it has also been surprising.  i would have thought that having freedom would have meant that i would have wanted to release more often (since i had the ability to), and that i would have erections much more often (since erections were no longer prevented by the device).  So far, neither has been the case.  It's extremely interesting, and i guess i'll have to see what happens as some days go by.

i must say, Mistress Katya continues to surprise me, constantly teaching me new things about myself, introducing me to new sensations and new experiences, and deepening my trust in and admiration of Her.  There are times when i am overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude for the journey She is taking me on, and i wish there was a way i could express the depth of both my emotion and my gratitude so that Mistress could truly know how much She has affected me and how much She means to me.

i almost forgot, i had said at the start of this entry that i think i am still recovering physically as well as mentally.  With the intensity of the session and the pain levels, which were far greater than previous training, i slept late, and am physically drained today.  i'm pretty certain it's due to the intensity level of last night.