my experiences

This is a journal of my experiences during my journey into the total control of my Mistress, Mistress Katya.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

An interesting phenomenon

i've discovered an interesting phenomenon this week.  i was originally supposed to see Mistress Katya on Monday night, but She had to reschedule.  Of course, i completely understand and agree that She needs to take care of the things in Her life that She needs to.

This is (i think) the third time in O/our time together that Mistress has had to reschedule (all for completely legitimate reasons), and this time i noticed something.  i can be going along fine in chastity for weeks at a time, but if i am supposed to meet with Mistress, and then it is postponed, that's when the straining, longing, and hypersensitivity go off the charts.  It's only this time around that i noticed the pattern (yes, that means that the straining, longing, and hypersensitivity are here right now!).

Maybe now that i recognize the pattern, i'll be able to handle it better?  i'm not sure, but i'm going to give it a shot.  At the same time, just because i've had a realization doesn't mean that i'm not longing to see Mistress Katya (which is scheduled to happen tomorrow).  i am longing, very much.  i love being at Her feet, in Her complete control, being helpless before Her.  It's a kind of mental and emotional freedom to place yourself totally in the hands of someone you trust 1000% (yes, that's a thousand percent, it's not a typo) that i can't even describe properly - it has to be experienced.  Yet another in a long list of reasons i am grateful, and always will be, for Mistress Katya.

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