Torment, day 3

i don't know how readable this post is going to be, i'm a bit sleep-deprived and distracted.  After another fitful night where i only slept for about 4 hours i woke up at 6am writhing straining against my chastity device and with every nerve ending on overload.  The only reason i'm even coherent enough to write is that i spent 2 hours in meditation which calmed me down a lot.  i needed to do something to get myself under control.  It really felt like over the last 3 days i was spinning out of control and it was starting to get a little scary.  The meditation helped a LOT.  i'm still on edge, at least as far as my nerve endings go but at least i can function.  It also helped that the actress who has been such a turn-on for me was not at rehearsal last night.  Mistress Katya has decided that i must wait until Sunday evening to see Her, and so i'll have to use everything i know to hold out until then.  i'm thinking a LOT of meditation and cold showers!  i really thought i was going to go over the edge early this morning and if the meditation hadn't helped i don't know what i would have done.  Thank God it did.  One final thought: although the last 3 days have been absolute torment, i wouldn't trade it for the world.  i know it pleases Mistress and the feeling of being in Her control and knowing my torment pleases Her and is what She wants is even more overwhelming than the torment itself.  Thank You, Mistress Katya, from the bottom of my heart.