Today was both a bit of a disappointment and a realization. Disappoitment in that Mistress Katya and i were supposed to see each other but She had to reschedule due to the fact She was under the weather. To be precise, i was disappointed by the situation - not by Mistress. i could never be disappointed by Her. It's been three weeks since i've seen Her and i'm longing to be at Her feet again - craving Her torments, Her touch, Her cane, Her whips, everything about Her. Anticipating breathlessly how She will take me even deeper into submission to Her.

Mistress Katya is magnificent. i feel sorry for those who never got a chance to know Her. Of course, some would not have appreciated Her. Mistress is the most genuine, no-nonsense, what-you-see-is-what-you-get person i've ever known, and most subs nowadays are in it for their own quick gratification and don't want genuine. They want an actress or a stripper with a whip who's going to act out *their* fantasies. It's just another way to get their rocks off. These so-called subs wouldn't even realize how wondetful Mistress Katya is.

You'll notice that i used the word "person" above, not "Mistress". That's because the genuine part of Her is beyond that. She is who She is, Domme or otherwise. Magnificent and truly awe-inspiring.

Now to the realization. That genuine-ness, that honesty, that natural power - the beauty of who Mistress Katya IS - that is why i grow more devoted to Her each day. i know i'm starting to get into the time when my chastity begins to affect my emotions a lot, but what i write here is only partially because of that. i have chosen to fully submit myself and to give all the power and control to Mistress Katya because there has never been anyone who was such a perfect match for me, who knew exactly what i needed, who gave me what i needed and not necessarily what i wanted, and who cared about me as much.

Yes, folks, that's right. The secret's out - Mistress Katya cares. Make no mistake...She is in charge and She will use Her power and control to get what She wants...but She does care and for that i am in awe of Her and eternally grateful.