my experiences

This is a journal of my experiences during my journey into the total control of my Mistress, Mistress Katya.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

i failed

i have failed.  Things got so bad this afternoon that i couldn't even adjust my sitting position in my chair without it causing a sensation that shot right up my spine.  Imagine that every 2 minutes.  i broke down and called my Mistress to beg.

Mistress Katya was merciful, and agreed to see me tomorrow.  But i think She may also be disappointed in me.  God, i hope not.  Each day She means more and more to me, and it would kill me to disappoint Her.  Even now i am ashamed that i wasn't stronger and i begged Her.  i don't deserve Mistress.  i will plead with Her tomorrow to forgive me for not being strong enough, and i will pray that She will have mercy on me.  i can already feel a bit of depression setting in for breaking down.  It's going to be a long night, and i already feel like a heel.

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