Renewed faith

To understand where i am, dear readers, you will need to have a little of my backstory.

i began to actively participate in "the scene" almost 20 years ago, when i was in my early 20s.  i had seen magazines, and i knew i was powerfully attracted to D/s, but i hadn't acted on it other than in my fantasies.

The first few years were good...beyond good, really.  They were exciting, everything was new, and my head was spinning.  Spinning a little too fast, i think, at least too fast to notice things.

During those first 2 or 3 years, my sessions were less frequent.  i was a young adult just starting out, and couldn't afford a lot of sessions.

After those first few years, i began to notice that the connection between myself and the Mistresses i had seen (or was seeing) wasn't really there, and the connection was what i was craving most of all.  i wanted to know that this wasn't just a job for them, that they did care about me, and most of all, that they were enjoying themselves too, and it wasn't just "work".  But that wasn't really there, and i lost both my faith and my enjoyment, and i stopped.

Probably about 6 or 7 years later, i decided to try again.  i don't really know why.  It followed a very similar pattern, just a shorter one this time - it only took a few months for me to lose my faith and enjoyment this time around.

i gave it one more try in my mid-30s, with the exact same result.  After 3 tries, over the course of 12 or 13 years, i had really lost all faith and enjoyment in the scene, and gave it up, i thought, for good.

So much for the backstory.

A few months ago, i came across an ad for a fetish event that was going to be held so close to my house i could walk there if i wanted to.  i decided to give it a go.  i thought that, at worst, i could go, have a few drinks, take in some sights, and then go home.

It was at this event that i saw the magnificent Mistress Katya, and even got up the courage to speak to Her.  She was stunningly beautiful, and exuded power and confidence.  She wasn't faking it - i could tell that Her power and confidence was an innate part of Her being, and psychically it was like being hit with a sledgehammer.  i didn't stay late at this party, but it turns out it was a very big turning point for me.

i contacted Mistress Katya not long after that, and met Her.  It was powerful.  It was palpable.  Mistress Katya was real.  She wasn't playing at it, this was who She was.  At first, i didn't let myself believe it fully.  i had fooled myself into thinking that before about other Mistresses, and had been disappointed each time.  i had just gone through a very rough time (emotionally) in my life, and i was fragile.  But the more i spoke with Mistress Katya, the more all those doubts were burned away.  By the end of our first meeting (and it wasn't even a session, it was just an introductory meeting), i knew in my heart She was the real thing.  It also didn't hurt that She was gorgeous, and beyond cute (those are two different things - you can be gorgeous and not cute, and you can be cute and not gorgeous.  Mistress Katya is one of the few women in the world i have ever seen that is BOTH).  i knew i had to give it another try.

i can hardly even express how happy i am that i did.  Every contact, every email, phone call, meeting, session, everything - i fall more and more deeply into Mistress Katya's control and under Her spell.  She is transcendent - unlike any other Mistress, unlike any other woman i have ever known.  i knew after that first meeting that i wanted to give myself to Her, to be Hers, and that with Her, i could have all those things i had been looking for all along. 

Mistress Katya has restored my faith, not just in the scene, but in people.  i know this probably sounds ridiculous, but it is the truth.  She means the world to me, and i will spend my days, as long as She will have me, in an attempt to show Her just how grateful i am that She accepted me, and that i have Her in my life.