The past few days

Today marks one week in chastity for me, and the past few days have been interesting ones in that regard. The first thing i should note is a touch of insomnia...there is a whole lot of truth in that Seinfeld episode where everyone was tossing and turning in their beds because they weren't masturbating! It would be unbearable if i weren't able to remind myself that i chose this, and that my body and my orgasms no longer belong to me, but instead to my Mistress. That has become my mantra!

The other thing i have to report is extremely vivid dreams the last two nights. In fact i just woke up from one in a bit of a cold sweat. i'm not sure if this is a direct result of being in chastity, but it has been happening the last two nights.

The first was about my ex-wife...which raised a lot of questions. We are still good friends and talk and see each other often.

The dream i just woke up from was about my Mistress. i was bound spread-eagled to the bed, face down, and Mistress Katya was alternating between using Her canes and Her whips on me. She had taped my mouth shut with duct tape. Mistress alternated between strokes with the cane, lashes with the whip, and gentle caresses with Her hand. It went on for what seemed like hours and by the end i was in tears, more from the emotional side than from the pain. Mistress constantly whispered in my ear in a soothing voice, comforting and reassuring me and encouraging me to take more of the discipline and pain She wanted me to take. When it was all over, She allowed me to rest my head in Her lap and wiped away my tears. She then gave me a small bottle of water and said "drink this, you look thirsty." At least i thought it was water. After i drank it, Mistress told me it was a bottle full of Her saliva She had been saving up all day. i would gladly drink nothing but!

The dream was so vivid, so real, that when i woke up and was still in that half awake, half sleeping state, i wasn't sure if it had actually happened. i actually went to the mirror and looked for cane marks, and the lack of marks was the only way i was sure it was a dream. Even now, two hours later, i'm not 100% sure. One thing i am absolutely sure of is that my gratitude to Mistress Katya for guiding me on this journey, and my devotion to Her, grows each day.

One final note. Due to a doctor's appointment, Mistress had allowed me to have one of the two keys to my lock this past week. After the first two days i knew i had to do something to help resist the temptation to use the key. There was no way i could allow myself to fail and disappoint Mistress, and also no way i could be dishonest with Her and hide it from Her if i did fail. So, i froze the key in an ice cube, hoping that if i did start to lose my willpower, the time it took for the ice cube to melt and release the key would give me time to recover my senses before i did something stupid i would regret. i'm glad to report that it worked. Just knowing that i didn't have instant access to the key kept me from doing something i'd regret...although one time i did take the ice cube out of the freezer and watched it begin to melt for a minute before i came to my senses and was ashamed at and disappointed in myself. i put it back in the freezer and haven't touched it since. i am truly sorry, Mistress, for that moment of weakness. You are magnificent and my body and my orgasms are Yours, not mine.